Love Thy Neighbor
When we first moved into our home about 4 years ago, one of the neighbors across the street, who we came to know as Colleen, kept letting her dog, Oreo, use our front yard and porch as his “relief” area. No joke, it would be on our sidewalk and porch and she would leave it! Rude, right? We let it slide for a while because we never could catch him in the act, but when we got cameras outside (where we live they are necessary), we saw him! Now, I am not someone who likes confrontation, but I walked over to Colleen’s apartment and politely asked her to pick up after Oreo. No harsh feelings and all was well. That was my first interaction with Colleen.
As the days went on, we would frequently see Colleen and Oreo go for their daily walks. She would walk with her coffee cup and Oreo would roam the street, but he would always stay close by. It was a ritual for them. We quickly realized that they were two peas in a pod.
One of those days, Colleen waved over to me and said “Hi” so I walked over to chat with her. I remember her saying that she never cleaned up after Oreo because we had just moved in and she didn’t want to intrude on our property. That made sense, but I let her know that I would rather that than step in something! During that conversation, I came to know how genuine, goofy and sweet Colleen was. Her personality was quirky and always seemed to be amazed at everything. We are 2nd to Colleen when it comes to being outside the most and she was always very interested in what we were up to. Whether we were building outside, laying asphalt, or building our travel van, she was always complementing us on how good of a job we were doing as she would walk by.
Since we work from home, we know everything that happens on our street throughout the day. We would always see Colleen going for her walks, chatting with the other neighbors and Oreo running around getting loved on by other people. Everyone on the street loved Colleen and Oreo. They were sort of like a staple on our street.
As the years went on, we had more talks with Colleen, we gave her some scrap 2×4’s so she could build her vegetable garden, we loved on Oreo when he would come over, and after she told me she was having some heart issues, I gave her my phone number in case she ever needed anything. I spoke with her almost every other day or so, even if it was just a hi, a wave or a 5 minute chat, I slowly came to love who she was, our quirky, feisty neighbor Colleen.
The last couple weeks, we haven’t seen Colleen and Oreo outside as much. We had that Polar Vortex and we figured that they were staying inside to keep warm. We didn’t really think anything of it. We just assumed we were busy and just missing seeing her outside. Last week, we found out that the apartments across the street were being sold and that all of the 12 tenants were being evicted by the new owners. It made us sad to think that Colleen wouldn’t be around anymore and we kept saying how different the street would be without her and Oreo. I said to Liz 2 days ago, “Colleen better not leave and move without saying goodbye!” I would hate for her to move away without a goodbye, even if our interactions would just be quick conversations in passing every couple of days.
Well, last night, we found out that Colleen passed away at the end of January. We had no idea and the shock of that news instantly brought me to tears. We weren’t very close to her, but over the years we developed a simple relationship, or neighbor-ship. Our mail lady, who we are friends with, sent me a text to let us know. Here I was thinking that she had been busy figuring out a new place to live, staying in from the cold, and packing up her things, and come to find out that she had passed away the day before her boyfriend was given the eviction notice.
I was told that her boyfriend Steve’s last day in their apartment was yesterday. We had just found out this news and now he was going to be gone too. I am someone who needs to reach out, send my apologies and voice my condolences. I wanted to walk over to their apartment to talk to him. I had only talked to him once in the last 4 years, regarding cleaning up after Oreo. I looked out and all of the lights were off at their place and both of the vehicles were gone. I was so bummed. I wanted to let him know how sorry we were and now I wasn’t going to get that opportunity. Liz and I then spent the next hour or so just talking about how crazy it was and how sad we were that Colleen wasn’t going to be around anymore. After a while, I heard someone throwing things away in the apartment dumpster, so I looked out the window and saw that it was Steve.
It was 10:30pm, dark and freezing, but I put on my shoes and coat and went out to chat with him. We talked about Colleen, how sorry I was, how different things would be on our street, and about how lost and sad he has been. I learned that Colleen had been struggling with addiction for many years and that she tried hard to get healthy, but her addiction always seemed to control most of her days. I had no idea she had this history, but in a way, looking back, it made a little bit of sense thinking of old conversations that we had. I learned a lot about Colleen in those 40 minutes and it was a cold, late night talk, but I am glad that I was able to let him know how sorry we were and how great we thought Colleen was, regardless of how different our lifestyles seemed to be.
In the last few hours, I have really been thinking hard about how fragile life is and how quickly things can change. I typically think of situations in a deep and emotional aspect, but sometimes I think in black and white. It always blows my mind that one day you can see someone walking down the street with their coffee mug walking their dog and then the next day they are no longer here. Its abrupt, bitter and so sad. I will never get to chat with Colleen again and I will never get to see sweet Oreo running around the block. I really wasn’t close with Colleen. We weren’t close friends. Truthfully, I didn’t even know her last name until yesterday. But we were definitely friendly neighbors.
To be honest, the entire point of this long story of how I came to know Colleen 4 years ago and how upset we feel about her passing is to encourage you to just take a moment and say “Hi” to your neighbors. Talk about the weather, talk about your dogs, about your favorite winter boots or even about the other neighbors…;) Take the time to reach out to people who you think may be struggling with something. Life is so fragile and so short. You never know when a split second could change someone’s forever.
I’m appreciative of the simple neighbor-ship we shared with Colleen and right now, I’d let Oreo use our front yard any day if it meant she could still be here, but I am encouraged by her positive outlook on life despite everything that she was dealing with. Positivity can go a long way and even though Colleen has left this world, I still have a lot to learn from her.
